One of the most significant yet challenging steps on our journey of self-healing and self-development is making peace with our past, forgiving, and letting go. When we hold onto our pain it can feel like we are carrying the heavy weight of shame, regret, anger, or bitterness around with us wherever we go like a tired donkey, unable to offload the baggage. This endless load perpetuates our limiting beliefs, undermines our self-esteem, and steals our joy and freedom. But I am here to help lighten your load.
Balancing the act of honouring your past without losing yourself in it is crucial for your well-being. You can recognise, learn, and grow from your mistakes, but then you must move on. This process of forgiving yourself, is well-captured in the words of Eckhart Tolle: "There is a fine balance between honoring the past and losing yourself in it. You can acknowledge and learn from the mistakes you made and then move on. It’s called forgiving yourself."
Worrying about the past only means you suffer twice.
Are you ready to let go? Here’s a 5-step plan to help you release the past and embrace the present.
1. Accept Your Feelings
Suppressing feelings of shame, regret, and painful memories only causes them to, one day, resurface. Allow yourself to sit with these emotions and accept them. Acknowledge your hurt and mistakes, even if it’s painful. This act of acceptance is the first step in making peace with the past. Acknowledging means you are taking owner ship of your mistakes– this is a powerful act! By taking responsibility for your past, you pave the way to let it go and move forward with empowerment to be and do better, instead of avoiding, deflecting, denying your actions. Remember, we are human and making mistakes is part of the human experience. It is how we change and grow to be better.
You are not your mistakes — mistakes are just happy accidents. You can begin again.
2. Forgive Yourself and Others
Holding onto grudges traps you in the past. Harbouring anger about past relationships or situations is futile, especially when others have moved on—you should too. Holding on to pain and hurt means you keep suffering. Let yourself be free! Show compassion to yourself for past mistakes and forgive others, even if it’s just in your heart. Forgiveness requires strength, courage, and humility. If you need a way to express your feelings, prepare for the next step…
3. Conduct a ‘Letting Go’ Ceremony
Write down the memories and feelings you wish to release. Don’t hold back. If you have photographs tied to painful moments, include them. Then, burn these items, allowing your hurt, shame, and regret to vanish in the smoke. Follow this with a meditation to send peace and release yourself from what you’ve been holding onto. End the ceremony with forgiveness and gratitude.
4. Reset Your Space
Your surroundings can continually remind you of the past. Identify objects, photographs, or items that trigger negative emotions and painful memories. Remove these triggers from your space. This includes decluttering your online space, eliminating contacts, and feeds that bring you down. Replace these with items that bring joy and uplift your spirit, like your favourite flowers, inspiring artwork, or souvenirs from positive experiences.
Create a space that nurtures your present self and what makes the current version of yourself happy. This, in turn, will energetically attract new, more aligning things and experiences into your life.
5. Focus Entirely on the Life You’re Creating
Dwelling on sadness, regret, or shame from the past only manifests those emotions in your reality. Remember, like attracts like, so if you want to manifest more positivity and positive outcomes, you have to let go of the negative baggage and thoughts. Direct your focus on the life you are building today. Life is something you create, not something that happens to you. Stop ruminating on the uncontrollable past and invest your emotional energy in the present. See how much you’ve grown from this and take away the positives. If your identity is rooted in the past, it’s time to let it go and concentrate on your daily actions. Shape the person you aspire to be and don’t look back.
Embrace these steps to release the past and live a life filled with present joy and future possibilities.
No one has it all figured out. Keep going, keep growing!
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